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Paper Heart on a Sleeve

October 13th, 2004

burn baby burn @ 09:37 am

I feel: excited excited
I hear: Interpol

I wasn't gonna be updating this journal anymore...but this is too good not to share.

This was waiting for us in the parking lot outside my work today.
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September 30th, 2004

he loves me @ 09:34 am

I feel: loved loved

I'd like to take this time to brag that when I got home from class last night, I had a homecooked meal waiting for me. Oh, and a candlelit bubble bath.


September 28th, 2004

the countdown @ 09:38 am

I feel: excited excited

6 more days until my birthday!!!!

PS. Kabuki threw up on my comforter again last night. Is it normal for cats to throw up at least once a day? I'm getting worried in addition to all the disgust now.


Edit: Due to popular request for a birthday wishlist (ie one person :) ), I direct everyone to the oh so casual I <3 presents link in my profile, which leads to my Amazon wishlist.

I love chocolate

In 0g, Violet

*sigh* wishful thinking, I know....

September 25th, 2004

the joys of pet ownership @ 06:01 am

I feel: sick sick

Kabuki, who has ignored me since long before I went to bed this morning, just came bounding in the room, mewed 3 or 4 times urgently to wake me up, jumped up by me, threw up on my arm, and ran away.

I love my fucking cat.

September 22nd, 2004

(no subject) @ 12:56 am

I feel: lonely excluded

I can't believe after all this time I still honestly expect to be included.

September 18th, 2004

(no subject) @ 01:32 am

On the subway today, a man came up to me to start small talk, this lonely man, talking about the weather and other things. I tried to be pleasant and accomodating. But my head began to hurt form his banality. I almost didn't notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased, and I couldn't help laughing.

September 14th, 2004

birthday party @ 10:16 pm

I feel: curious curious

While on the subject of parties, I was thinking of having my 21st birthday party at a rollerrink, since my real birthday wouldn't be until a Monday, and I wanted to have a party the weekend before.  I was thinking that I could force someone to bake me a cake, and we could all skate and be silly, and then perhaps come back to my house and drink and get silly.

Poll #350275 party poll

Would you pay up to $8 to go roller skating with me for my birthday?

Yes, I'm awesome
No, I never was your friend

If not roller skating, can you think of another fun thing to do before my birthday? My fake ID is gone. :( I was thinking of volunteering Jenny to make dinner for me, but I don't think that's very nice. So I'm at a loss. I also considered having a keg party at my old house, but I'd feel sad when few people came and if it was as awkward as some of the other parties I've thrown.

two in one blow @ 12:19 am

I beat Kingdom Hearts AND Doom 3 today. Crown me the Ultimate Dork, and hater of KH for ever and ever AMEN.

September 13th, 2004

warm thoughts @ 10:35 am

I feel: contemplative contemplative
I hear: Mazzy Star - Fade Into You

Driving to work in the morning sun. The song came on and a flood of memories returned.

Laying in Brandon's sun flooded dorm room, after spending the entire night working on a paper for finals week. Unable to sleep after the stress, I watched Blues Clues as he searched AudioGalaxy for this song. Just as he slipped away for his class, he tucked me in, turned off the TV, and left this song on softly playing on his newly-returned computer -- I was asleep before he locked the door.

And feeling happy, remembering this, I began to explore other happy moments in my life.

Eyes swollen from lonely nights, drifting into restless sleep, and being awakened by gentle tapping on my bedroom window in the Summit Street apartment. Peeping out through broken blinds, squinting from my lack of glasses, and seeing jason's bihawks peeking back at me through short puffs of breath in the cold night air. Sleepily pulling clothes on and letting him into my room, where we'd curl up and keep each other warm.

Skipping school with Sandy on a random afternoon in our senior year. No longer trying to hide my truancy from my mother, we sat and watched Ricki Lake, where girls declared that they could justify sleeping around at the age of 12 because "they like it and they have the body" as they stood up, and spun around, their fat bellies jiggling. Snuggling with Sandy and telling her, "You're warm," to which she would reply, "You're soft."

Bringing Kabuki home from the vet for the first time. Whispering to her, as her tiny striped paws reached blindly through the air holes in her box, "We're going to grow up together." Holding her in my cupped hands. Our first night sleeping together, with her curled up in my armpit, my little warm baby who still didn't have a name.

My alarm clock glowing red, trumpeting the numbers 4 and 3 and 9 at me, as I mumbled about nothing and heard half-dreamt stories about car rides through snow covered mountain tops in Virginia. The feeling that no one in the world knew more about me, or what I needed than Mike, my secret santa, Dear Abby, big brother, pen pal, and elusive crush all rolled into one. Finally hanging up, and seeing that we had spent another 6 hours of our lives together, as close as we were able to be without actually touching.

Waking up in a hotel room, far too early for this time zone, and slipping out onto the patio of our Hawaiian hotel room to find my mother already cupping her warm coffee in her hands. We curled under a beach towel to ward off the unexpected chill, and watched the sun slide up over the foamy waves. Her eyes shimmered with happiness as she stroked my tangled bed-styled hair.

Hmm, I'm lost in a flood of memories that can no longer be put to words. Mental images, whispers and songs, glowing candles and hazy nights.

September 9th, 2004

BUKI ATTACK!!!111!! @ 10:13 pm

I feel: satisfied satisfied
I hear: Ice Cube - Ghetto Vet

I've held out on posting the cuteness for as long as I can, but her cup runneth over.

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